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Could that be what I was begging for? For mercy? There was no mercy here, not in this place, not for me. I gave the radio at my feet a kick. Useless thing! I had tried so hard. For hours I tried. Lifting those damn-all heavy batteries out of the plane. Dragging this worthless collection of wires and tubes out as well, then hooking everything up with shaking hands. I had taken too many of my pep pills trying to get this done and now it wasn’t even going to work. And I was shaking like a leaf in March wind, unable to even pass out and sleep in this oven. ~Heat~ ‘Mercy, please Lord.’ ** ** ** ** *** ** ** I awoke to a sinking sun on the horizon. Blinking, I removed my hands from the stick and looked around me. Why? What? I climbed my way out the cockpit and hung from the side of the glass canopy looking back into the vacated pilot seat. I wished I could have laughed, as I figured out what had happen. I had gone out of my head and tried to fly the plane out of here. Yeah, I wished I. Do you remember I washed him once, just because you had carried him everywhere for years, and he was dirty and smelled bad? And because I put him in the washing machine a part of him ripped and some of the stuffing came out? You cried and cried and said, "Fix him, Mommy. Fix Mr. Fluffy!"? I had to sew him back together, remember? I feel like Mr. Fluffy right now, all soft and insubstantial inside.But I can't tell you that."I guess it's time to go," he said. He was looking at the tops of his sneakers, the way he did during awkward moments."Are you sure you packed everything? Do you have your allergy pills? Your eyedrops? Your--" I have them all, Mom." He rolled his eyes."You'll call, right? You'll call tonight and let me know how it's going?" I'll call."When he was a little boy he would come into her room when he had a nightmare -- this was after his father had died and she was alone in the bed -- and she would wake with a start to him poking her in the arm."Had a bad dream," he would.
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